Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
