I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
