McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
