so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
