pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
