a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
