Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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