The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Green mimosas i think yes
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize