is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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