The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Boobs are out for the taking
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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