Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
