Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
