honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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