ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
