Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i believe in u and ur pee
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
