I seem to have left my pride at pride
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
time to smoke my breakfast
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
