Already got asked if we're dating
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
