haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
