Umm I'm too high to move.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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