I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
