kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize