You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I need moral support for this bender
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
