i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I will be naked everywhere
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
