im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
