Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
