Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
