clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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