THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
