you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize