My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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