I can't breathe out the right side of my face
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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