I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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