My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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