what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
