it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize