i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
