i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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