I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
