You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
