He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Can I color on your dick again?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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