I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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