***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I believe in your delicious
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
