bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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