Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
