By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
