I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
false alarm. still invincible.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
