she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
