I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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