PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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