There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
