sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
