How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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