So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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