There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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