watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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