I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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