I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
