he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
