11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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