Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
