i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
