He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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