Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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