how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
