Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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